Misses MacDonald and Rosier, you'll be working with Auror Dawlish on a colour-coding system and any other organizational techniques to streamline the paperwork process.

Aurors Proudfoot and Moody, develop drills for the Aurors. Hitwizards Dearborn and Crockford will develop drills for the Hitwizards. If assistance is needed in the development implementation of said drills, more personnel may be assigned as necessary.

Hitwizards Yaxley, Turpin, Frobisher, and Bones will work on developing a comprehensive system for public education.

Curfews and Unforgiveables will be brought up with the Wizengamot and Minister himself as appropriate.

Heads and Deputy Heads of both departments will be responsible for setting internal deadlines and progress checks. Any reassignments must be brought directly to my desk.

I want you all my office tomorrow by six. I expect each of you to be fully prepared to address issues of personnel and efficiency.

Clear your schedules for the day. I don't expect this meeting to end quickly.

I appreciate the lack of warning. After all, when one is going to be scolded in front of one's employees as part of a greater mass humiliation, I find it's much more agreeable to have all grievances from above aired without warning and in the middle of the bloody work day.

Really. Bang-up job you lot are doing over there. Good to know you're still hiding my memos.

I haven't decided yet whether Auror Moody and Head Hitwitch Ridgebit's punishments are sufficient for your lapse in all common sense and good judgment. You have exactly twenty of my fucking seconds to convince me they are, or I could save both of us the time and just suspend you now.

Paperwork for a week and a stern talking-to?

Honoria found the gingerbread houses positively delightful. I, on the other hand She's currently devoted all of her time to arranging flowers for various Pureblood friends and family, but she did want me to pass along a happy Christmas and good tidings to you and yours.

At the risk of sounding like Auror Moody: Constant vigilance, all. Keep your wits about you.

Bagnold's daughter. MacDonald. I trust you're paranoid practical enough to be suspecting foul play in these random losses of memory? There is the possibility that Bagnold's daughter's knock to the head was just a knock to the head and MacDonald was merely suffering temporary dementia, and there is also the possibility that Mr. Black will spent his birthday sober. Best not to take changes.

I like to say I'm not a gambling man, but my Galleon's on Avery failing your little test. Though I wouldn't be surprised if those knobheads in the Hitwizard Office caught wind that there were free pastries and ended up getting themselves hexed.

And I thought it might warm the cockles of your heart to let you know that I checked for hexes in spite of your assurance that it was clean. You have indeed trained me well.

I cannot leave you people alone for five minutes, can I?

Yaxley, you have the honor of both filing the excessive amounts of paperwork Auror Dawlish instructed Miss Meliflua to fill out and handling her case, which I suspect will not amount to anything more than a formal apology and a promise to keep an eye out for such behaviour in the future. The rest of the individuals involved will be dealt with personally. I suspect this issue will not be brought up on a department-wide level again, unless I elect to have Auror Dawlish lead some sort of seminar on proper journal behaviour and reportable offenses. I do hope that no one will give me a reason to require such a seminar in the future.

And yes, my office is still quarantined. I don't think I'm contagious but frankly I like you better when I'm not around you

This is the busiest our offices have been in quite some time. Do you really have nothing better to do than cause trouble and start petty feuds with Pureblood ladies? You're as bad as Oliver

You're a logical lad, Auror Trainee Savage. As such, I expect a fully logical explanation for your behaviour, beginning with your irresponsible conduct on the journals and ending with your irresponsible report of petty teenage gossip to the DMLE. If you could touch on your irresponsible relationship with Miss MacDonald somewhere in there, I would be greatly appreciative.

As some of you may have noticed, I was absent from work today. This is because I've succumbed to the disease currently being spread around the department.

I will be at work tomorrow morning. Please note that my office is quarantined until further notice.

This is clearly karmic retribution for going out with Moody for drinks. This is why I hate fun

( a chart )

Pity Fancourt couldn't have hung on for just a few years more, as my odds at the position improve vastly during wartime. Ah, well. Neither candidate is spectacularly young, and it's certainly not out of the question that Crook, if appointed, would be a particularly strong target for Death Eaters. Perhaps he'd be terrorized out of office as well?

It would be so wonderfully nice to have a Pureblood in office, I must say; particularly one who hasn't already talked my ear off about his idiotic plan to combat the Death Eaters. For Salazar's sake, Crook works with transportation. How can a man with such appallingly untreated male pattern baldness be trusted with national security?

I know such personal questions are not generally in my repertoire, but indulge me; how many of you aren't currently on sick leave? And for those of you who are, I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that there is a predetermined amount of time that you may take off sick before your pay is docked, as stipulated in your individual contracts.

For future reference, all cases currently under the jurisdiction of Hitwizard Bones will be transferred to the authority of Hitwizard Ridgebit. He'll be taking on the complaint filed by Mulciber earlier this morning along with a trainee of his choosing. Miss MacDonald, Hitwizard Yaxley, please take this into consideration when filing paperwork and addressing memos. Aurors working with the Hitwizard Office on these cases, also take note.

A memo will be going out later this week reiterating the confidentiality and neutrality clauses of the department's official policy. I suggest you all read it carefully.

I want a draft of that memo on my desk no later than tomorrow morning.

Let me fully disclaim that I say this not as the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, but as an associate of your father's and friend to your family. While I apologize sincerely that a boy of your age is made to endure such childish tiffs with men who are decades your senior and, for all intents and purposes, should have been educated against this sort of behaviour in primary school, these are delicate political times. Aligning yourself even remotely with the radical purist wing could make you a target for vigilante attention, and though it is common amongst men of my age to refer to such recent graduates as 'boys', you must now conduct yourself in a manner befitting of an upstanding Pureblooded man.

I have seen to it that Hitwizard Bones is being duly punished for his indiscretions. I humbly request that you take it upon yourself to refrain from provoking liberals and mudbloods in the future, for the sake of your safety and my employees peace of mind.

I would also like to take this opportunity to inform you that Hitwizard Bones has been placed on the case you filed informally yesterday evening. To ensure that he dedicates his full attention and resources to this problem, I've taken him off all other cases and assigned him a trainee partner. If at any point during the conduct of the investigation you feel that Hitwizard Bones is behaving in a manner unsuited for a man of his occupation and breeding, I urge you to file a complaint through the office so that it may be taken care of.

Hitwizards Hobday and Abercrombie, you'll be following up on the attack on Miss Frobisher under the guidance of Auror Trainee Halifax. Aurors Williamson and Moody, I'd like for you to contact Misses Catchlove and Wilton for their statements and conduct that case as you see fit. I expect you'll be working closely together; joint reports are acceptable in the case of overlap. Halifax, if you have any questions, defer to Auror Moody.

Hitwizard Bones and Auror Kingsley will be added onto this month's MLE rotation so that Tinworth can be doubly covered.

Auror training hours will drop down to the normal requirements, though trainees are welcome to work overtime in our training facilities as necessary.

As per usual, paperwork goes through Auror Dawlish for review and Hitwizard Yaxley or Miss MacDonald for filing.

It has come to my attention that some of our boys may have been operating at less than one hundred per-cent last night as the result of some sort of pub crawl in celebration of a birthday. I am hardly going to take it upon myself to outlaw binge drinking among law enforcement employees, as your choice to torture your brain and liver remains entirely your choice, but for fuck's sake, if you're going out drinking at a time of active conflict, keep some Sobering Potion handy.

Stiff upper lip, Bones. It's unfortunate that Tinworth has been such a popular target, but letting them know they've gotten to you will only provoke them further.

I'm having someone take over work for you today. You'll be coming in after office hours and staying until midnight keeping an eye out for any alerts. Depending on how busy tonight night is, I may have you working nights a bit longer.

You're taking over all of MacDonald's duties today, as she unfortunately won't be able to make it into the office. I don't have the time to send out a memo detailing the shift in responsibilities; perhaps you could sit at her desk, just to make sure that people know where to drop off their reports?

If you were dispatched last night, I don't want you in the office until noon. Feel free to take that time to go to Mungo's for treatment or potions as required. I want you in good enough shape by the time you come in that I don't have to hear any whinging about your being over-worked.

Otherwise, extended hours still stand.

Everyone who was dispatched tonight, I want you back in the office within the hour to start filing reports. You can go home when Auror Dawlish has confirmed your paperwork is complete. In the meantime, informal reports would be more than welcome so I know what the hell is going on when the Prophet starts banging down the door.